For years I thought myself a “failure” in the “yogic ways” since I just simply could not consistently get my self disciplined to get up before I had to get up to what needs to get done and practice yoga. (At the break of dawn or even earlier). I even belittled my after-noon or evening sessions as real “yogini” “do” it in the morning. I am the kind of person some may think of as being incredibly organized when they see me preparing lunches for my children most evenings. I even kinda plan kids clothing for the coming day and more if I have it in me. Little would you know that this is due to me not functioning well in the morning if I do not prep as much as possible the night before. Not that I can not perform all this in the morning. I just get so darn cranky if I have to rush and at the same time be present to my loved ones and I usually forget one essential item for at least one of us . Slow and mellow is the best way to start the day for me. My children have for the most part accepted this and behave accordingly.
It is not like I do not love the morning and dawn. It is an incredible time of day and there is something awesome about being up before the first birds stir. The sounds , the smells. I do love it! I cherish the mornings this happen. Wether it is because I just woke up or because I stayed up all night. The point is I can’t seem to ( or want to ) maintain it on an everyday basis. I thrive with a changing schedule. I love staying up late, I love sleeping in. ..dusk is a potent time a day as well and midnight and beyond … ahhhhh. In the depth of night I source so much love and I project it far and wide. I do most of my practice after the children are in bed and often end up later than I “should” as everyday life, work and getting the children ready for school require getting up in the morning. I love working nights ( as long as it is not too often). It gives me permission to nap throughout the week so I catch up on lost sleep. Naps are divine-potent-power-loving-nurturing times for me.
I am easy to wake and I get back to sleep easy.
( Can you tell 9-5 is not my ideal scenario?)
This weekend though. March blessed us with a weekend of incredible weather. Sun-sunny skies and it already shows that the days are longer . The added hours of light makes a difference. I woke up with the sun on my face . No need to get up as it was weekend and the children tend to mind their own for a little while in the morning. The joys of them growing up a bit. I did just curl over with a smile to snooze a little longer. Ahhh to wake up slowly. Then with a jolt I just had to get out of bed as I knew the sun was shining on the deck. I could smell that is was warm out . You know that smell? The scent of one of the first warm spring days. One of the most bliss full things I know of is to is being able to do yoga in the morning sun best of all on a beach. A deck or on the grass facing the sun will do too. Before it gets to warm to be in the sun . Ahhh. My roommate was already out there doing her practice. So there we were . Stretching and breathing. Sun on skin. Birds chirping and Eagles calling. Blue blue sky. Bliss! More days like this and I’ll be up earlier much more often. I wont force it. I want to get up because of the sheer joy of it because that drive to get up is just the best ever feeling. I imagine it can potentially catch on as I get in the habit and I realise how awesome I feel in my body starting the day like this on a more regular basis.
We will see.
Our deck and land sure invites to doing yoga facing sunrise.
Over the years . I have learned to honor and accept that I just do not necessarily practice the first thing in the morning , every morning.
Much of my practice is non physical and in being as much as possible present in whatever I am doing when-ever I am doing it. Doing dishes mind fully , being online mind fully, being present when I communicate with the children , fully present ( I really do practice). I attempt to say yes when I mean it and “let me think about it” when I am not sure . Feel the earth as I walk on it. The air as I breathe it. Returning to what my breath have to tell me as often as I can. Releasing tension as often as I sense it. Counter-act every contraction with a deep breath of release and softening in my whole being. Even rest and be tired mind fully.
My physical prime time to stretch , go for hikes, swim, do yoga and such seem to be some time after noon before dinner time and after the children are in bed.
Over the years of traveling, public transport and the like I have learned that these moments in transition , waiting, en route , in line , these in-between times are precious opportunities to meditate, breathe, visualize,reflect. Practice subtle pelvic excesses or not so subtle stretching and strengthening poses. These in-between moments have added hours and hours of time towards my physical and mental health.
In place of allowing my inner bossy-pants put me down for what I am not accomplishing I am noting with joy when I take time to do what my body and mind needs to stay tuned nourished and well and grounded.
I recommend it. Take note of all the good you do for your self. Take note if you do not do what nourish you, your soul and your body. What can you do? Honor your own rhythm. Yes …discipline is invaluable. Stoking the fire is good. Regular practice is really useful for most of us. Often mixing it up once in a while makes life richer. Love yourself along the way. Give yourself permission to follow your own rhythm. Make smaller commitments if it mean that you will do it. What is YOUR preference? When is it realistic for YOU to commit to in taking care of your body and mind? Do this. Enjoy this. Pause sometimes in you practice just to notice. Do less, allow more. Then try the opposite. How does that feel. Try something new. Seek out company that inspires. Trust your self to experienced hands and get bodywork, epicures, facial, acupuncture. Source from within. Drink more water. Breathe deeply and notice all the beauty around you. What ever we do for our health is meant to be fun and make us feel better. Sweat and sore muscles feel good. So does hushed rooms and scented baths.
You deserve it!
Teach your loved ones to practice self-care by example.
Celebrate being you. I know I for one just feel so much better when I stop comparing my practice to others and deeply honor my own pace. Strangely enough I find myself actually getting up more often even just for a mini stretch or a few minutes of breathing exercise before rushing into the day. I stopped negating my evening practices and fully savor those times.
On that note …it is 1230 am and I will go stretch a bit. I am sore after all the gardening this weekend.
Blessed spring to you all
Awake, my dear.
Be kind to your sleeping heart.
Take it out into the vast fields of Light
And let it breathe.
Say, “Love, give me back my wings.
Lift me, lift me nearer.”
Say to the sun and moon, say to our dear Friend,
I will take you up now, Beloved,
On that wonderful Dance You promised!”
Today I offer a prayer I wrote years ago and have had posted on my fridge pretty much ever since. I am sure you have had the experience of getting so accustomed to things in you daily environment that it becomes as invisible. This morning tidying after the chaos created from a juicy creative evening I rediscovered it and I paused long enough to read through it even though I know it so well. I thought I would share it with you. Maybe it will speak to you to.
A daily portion of love and laughter and tears
Fun and Serenity.
That I may get everyday
Firmer and more Gentle.
That I may Everyday and Moment
Be in the Now
Body Mind Spirit and Soul.
That all my relations are Peaceful True and Real.
That when it is needed
I am able to do what is needed.
That I at all times am Guided
Able to recognize this Guidance
in its many forms
And stay forever True to Myself
as to act in the best interest of All there is.
That I may recognize when to hold on
when to let go
have the courage to do so.
That I may alway recognize my many Blessings
Behold the Everyday Miracles
Know that I am Provided for.
That I maintain Focus always
to move towards
Raising my Vibration
Realising my Vision
to Free What waits Within me
are able to be Fully Present
Savouring Each precious Moment.
Where ever I Am.
Whatever I Do.
All Is Light
All is Love .
This last week I have acutely felt the pull of two seemingly opposing calls.
I have come to recognize them as the yearning of the soul and the yearning of the Spirit. So different in character. The pull in opposite directions.
The inward creative pull of “let me just finnish that Collage in peace”. Do not interrupt me. Let me dream and let the unconscious roam free to sort itself out. A complete absence of desire to fulfill household or professional obligations , you get the drift….
On the other hand I am restless and stressed and anxious to burst forward in the garden. (In fact I have visions of the garden 5 or 10 years from now.) Burst forward in my professional life. In my personal life. In life in general. Incredibly impatient that I am not moving forward fast enough with the studio so I can start receiving clients. I wanna travel. Make a difference. Make lots of money. Do more. Be more. Cultivate a strong and vigorous practice to raise my fire and purifie and be clear and vast as the sky.
The Dance of Shiva and Shakti.
Or rather the pulse. I contract. I expand. I exhale. I inhale.
In true pisces manner I acutely feel the pull in both directions simultaneously.
I need both and the season is such. Light is bursting forth. Flowers push through the ground and blossom. Dogs are in heat. The sun is warm. Hummingbirds dance in mating ecstasy.
Yet it is the earliest blossoms. The warm days take turn with the cold. Soo much is still hibernating and incubating. It is early spring!
In the middle of these pulls of the downward and upward I live Life Manifested.
What practices will nurture and ground me and simultaneously help me rise with the energies and go forth in the world bringing into light that which is what I have to share with the world.
I power nurture when I can . Naps are sacred for me. It is no lie. I love naps and they are one of the most luxurious gift I give and allow myself in this busy life. It is pure self love. Luxurious baths that include face masks. Followed by rich oils and luxurious scents. Permission to sit with emotions and let things percolate before acting or reacting. I rest in nature. I walk slowly. I savour. I Sit
To honor the call of the spirit I Vision. I Dream and Fantasize and feel into what really tick my heart and this is the gage by which i choose direction. I climb high to get a view. I move faster so my breath deepens and joy bursts through my veins.I sing.
I practice yoga curling up into a ball and the stretching as far as I can. Furling and curling and reaching and stretching. Closing and opening.
Inhaling and exhaling.
I enact the pulse to experience the comfort and acceptance in all the places of this sacred dance.
Or notice the disomfort and play with it.
Somewhere between the soul and the spirit is life as is, Mateialised. I have the privilige to be here on earth. In this body. Bound somewhat by time and space.
I commit to use the nourishment I draw from the depth of my soul and the clarity and vision I source from my spirit and do always something, every moment that bring into being that which is most me. That which is my gift to the world.
It is so damn intimidating as my visions are vast and bold and simultaneously so very ordinary.
I have no meassure but my own to what is enough or …not.
There are days where it seem I do so little because I am just going about being me doing what needs to be done. There are even days it seem I spend more and more time undoing than doing ( but that is a whole nother story) .
That is just it. Of course it is enough! It is enough to be ourselves to the extent that we are able to be at any given time. If we allow ourselves to delve into the depths of the soul. Explore the visions of the spirit. Commit to doing what we can to work towards bringing this into manifestation. Then we are doing precisely what we are ment to. What else can we do or be.
So in the midst of this dance of life …where ever we are at. Let us trust that it is all right. That inhale will follow exhale untill it does not anymore. Let us not waste any time or energy trying to be anything we are not. Rest deep into the knowing and allowing that we are enough. Even let go of the notion that we today should be like yesterday or even like just a moment ago. Discovering every moment Who am I.
Inhale. What are my needs. What am I wiling to receive from the world.
Exhale. What can I release. What is my gift to this moment.
Lets journey together into this space of ever unfolding self discovery.
By the mere fact of being we are bringing an expression to the world that otherwise would be lost. At times this will be in an active expression as us Doing in the world. At others it is in the mere Being in the world. One is not more worthy than the other. Only we each will know when it is time for one or the other. Trust this knowing. Stay close to your selves and take pleasure in this guidance. Be the most yourself you can possible be.
This is your gift
(By the way I adore the Dance in Guidance)
Lets Dance …if nothing else …lets just Dance.