Confessions of a “type B”
For years I thought myself a “failure” in the “yogic ways” since I just simply could not consistently get my self disciplined to get up before I had to get up to what needs to get done and practice yoga. (At the break of dawn or even earlier). I even belittled my after-noon or evening sessions as real “yogini” “do” it in the morning. I am the kind of person some may think of as being incredibly organized when they see me preparing lunches for my children most evenings. I even kinda plan kids clothing for the coming day and more if I have it in me. Little would you know that this is due to me not functioning well in the morning if I do not prep as much as possible the night before. Not that I can not perform all this in the morning. I just get so darn cranky if I have to rush and at the same time be present to my loved ones and I usually forget one essential item for at least one of us . Slow and mellow is the best way to start the day for me. My children have for the most part accepted this and behave accordingly.
It is not like I do not love the morning and dawn. It is an incredible time of day and there is something awesome about being up before the first birds stir. The sounds , the smells. I do love it! I cherish the mornings this happen. Wether it is because I just woke up or because I stayed up all night. The point is I can’t seem to ( or want to ) maintain it on an everyday basis. I thrive with a changing schedule. I love staying up late, I love sleeping in. ..dusk is a potent time a day as well and midnight and beyond … ahhhhh. In the depth of night I source so much love and I project it far and wide. I do most of my practice after the children are in bed and often end up later than I “should” as everyday life, work and getting the children ready for school require getting up in the morning. I love working nights ( as long as it is not too often). It gives me permission to nap throughout the week so I catch up on lost sleep. Naps are divine-potent-power-loving-nurturing times for me.
I am easy to wake and I get back to sleep easy.
( Can you tell 9-5 is not my ideal scenario?)
This weekend though. March blessed us with a weekend of incredible weather. Sun-sunny skies and it already shows that the days are longer . The added hours of light makes a difference. I woke up with the sun on my face . No need to get up as it was weekend and the children tend to mind their own for a little while in the morning. The joys of them growing up a bit. I did just curl over with a smile to snooze a little longer. Ahhh to wake up slowly. Then with a jolt I just had to get out of bed as I knew the sun was shining on the deck. I could smell that is was warm out . You know that smell? The scent of one of the first warm spring days. One of the most bliss full things I know of is to is being able to do yoga in the morning sun best of all on a beach. A deck or on the grass facing the sun will do too. Before it gets to warm to be in the sun . Ahhh. My roommate was already out there doing her practice. So there we were . Stretching and breathing. Sun on skin. Birds chirping and Eagles calling. Blue blue sky. Bliss! More days like this and I’ll be up earlier much more often. I wont force it. I want to get up because of the sheer joy of it because that drive to get up is just the best ever feeling. I imagine it can potentially catch on as I get in the habit and I realise how awesome I feel in my body starting the day like this on a more regular basis.
We will see.
Our deck and land sure invites to doing yoga facing sunrise.
Over the years . I have learned to honor and accept that I just do not necessarily practice the first thing in the morning , every morning.
Much of my practice is non physical and in being as much as possible present in whatever I am doing when-ever I am doing it. Doing dishes mind fully , being online mind fully, being present when I communicate with the children , fully present ( I really do practice). I attempt to say yes when I mean it and “let me think about it” when I am not sure . Feel the earth as I walk on it. The air as I breathe it. Returning to what my breath have to tell me as often as I can. Releasing tension as often as I sense it. Counter-act every contraction with a deep breath of release and softening in my whole being. Even rest and be tired mind fully.
My physical prime time to stretch , go for hikes, swim, do yoga and such seem to be some time after noon before dinner time and after the children are in bed.
Over the years of traveling, public transport and the like I have learned that these moments in transition , waiting, en route , in line , these in-between times are precious opportunities to meditate, breathe, visualize,reflect. Practice subtle pelvic excesses or not so subtle stretching and strengthening poses. These in-between moments have added hours and hours of time towards my physical and mental health.
In place of allowing my inner bossy-pants put me down for what I am not accomplishing I am noting with joy when I take time to do what my body and mind needs to stay tuned nourished and well and grounded.
I recommend it. Take note of all the good you do for your self. Take note if you do not do what nourish you, your soul and your body. What can you do? Honor your own rhythm. Yes …discipline is invaluable. Stoking the fire is good. Regular practice is really useful for most of us. Often mixing it up once in a while makes life richer. Love yourself along the way. Give yourself permission to follow your own rhythm. Make smaller commitments if it mean that you will do it. What is YOUR preference? When is it realistic for YOU to commit to in taking care of your body and mind? Do this. Enjoy this. Pause sometimes in you practice just to notice. Do less, allow more. Then try the opposite. How does that feel. Try something new. Seek out company that inspires. Trust your self to experienced hands and get bodywork, epicures, facial, acupuncture. Source from within. Drink more water. Breathe deeply and notice all the beauty around you. What ever we do for our health is meant to be fun and make us feel better. Sweat and sore muscles feel good. So does hushed rooms and scented baths.
You deserve it!
Teach your loved ones to practice self-care by example.
Celebrate being you. I know I for one just feel so much better when I stop comparing my practice to others and deeply honor my own pace. Strangely enough I find myself actually getting up more often even just for a mini stretch or a few minutes of breathing exercise before rushing into the day. I stopped negating my evening practices and fully savor those times.
On that note …it is 1230 am and I will go stretch a bit. I am sore after all the gardening this weekend.
Blessed spring to you all