In search for Peace I had to sit with Grief
I joined Deva Premals and Miten 21 day chanting challenge.
I was fortunate enough to see these guys when they visited Victoria and it was such a beautiful and inspiring experience. I love their down to earth and reachable approach to a deep and spiritual life and how freely they share what the journey of the mantras have given them.
After a beautiful yoga practice in the sun on the deck surrounded by my dogs and the eager hummingbirds buzzing by the feeder I listened in to their day two of the meditations. Today’s mantra was Om Shanti Om and it is the mantra of Peace that we chanted 108 times. Beautiful and simple. As we came to an end I sat there, still, feeling very quiet. Vibrating with energy but calm…. a smile tickling my lips …. I felt very present in my body and simultaneously not in my body. Then I noted a sensation that I almost missed , actually I did for a little while. A cry welling up . I kind of dodged it ever so subtle. I reached for the bliss the beautiful peace. Then my practice of inquiry awoke and gently curious I turned my awareness to that sensation that I almost decided to re-stuff into my unconscious and merely noted… I feel like crying .
I could not tell if it was a cry of the unbearable beauty of this incredible beautiful sense of connection and peace or of the grief of life lived disconnected from this or something entirely different. I totally surrendered to sit there and allow the feeling to well up. I just let is emerge just like that allowing the tears the sounds and the feelings course through me. Tears streaming. Whimpering . Sobbing. Simultaneously beautiful and painful and I put judgment and analyzing aside and just allowed the feeling to express itself. After some time it passed. As sudden as it emerged the cry subsided. I now entered an even deeper place of peace and stillness simultaneously one with all within and around me and not at all. Breathing in . Breathing out. Present. Still. Vibrant . Eternal . One of these states that really can not be described with words . I just rested there till that also passed and I with the breath returned to this body and this world. I opened my eyes and in gratitude dedicated this feeling of connection and peace to all beings.
Returning to the mind it made me realize how in our search for bringing what we desire into our world we will undoubtedly encounter precisely that which is in our way of experiencing this. So in searching for for example Peace any emotion or belief system we have held in our body-mind that stand in our way of experiencing this may arise and have the opportunity to be expressed and released. It takes courage to let these uncomfortable emotions arise and it can be easy to miss or dismiss them. Know and trust that if any emotions or belief system arise it is because you are ready and able to deal with what is coming up. This is a beautiful opportunity to permit something we before suppressed to be allowed its full expression. In dealing with these emotions I do not mean taking any action but rather to just allow its arising emergence and sit with and feel the emotion through its full expression. It can be intense and sounds and movement can be involved. Do you best to stay really present and observe the emotions natural life cycle . It has as all other things a beginning a middle and an end and when it is fully expressed for now it will fade away. On the other side thorough your emotion you may just find that which you came searching for. So pay attention in your search also to that which seem contrary to what you want to bring into your life. Trust that what comes up for you is your perfect medicine for where you are at right now. If today you do not “get” there do not despair or get discouraged . Sitting with what comes up when it comes up is an act of GREAT courage.
The journey IS the destination!
By the way I think you can still join Deva Premal and Mitens 21 day mantra meditation challenge. I recommend it if you are curious about chanting and Mantras or if you need some inspiration and encouragement for a daily practice.